Content warning:  This article discusses suicide, which may be triggering for some readers. If you are struggling with serious suicidal thoughts, please reach out for support. In the U.S., you can dial 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or seek immediate medical attention if you are in danger.

Read on to learn how to stop suicidal thoughts​ and why having a personal safety plan can help when things feel too heavy to handle. 

Suicidal Thoughts Are a Sign of Pain, Not Weakness

Suicidal thoughts are often a sign of deep emotional suffering. They’re not because you’ve failed, you’re weak, or you use attention-seeking behavior. Suicidal ideation often comes from deep pain caused by overwhelming emotions or trauma. Having suicidal thoughts can feel like you’re completely alone in this world, but it’s more common than you might know. 

Recent research from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) found that more than 12.3 million adults in the United States have experienced suicidal thoughts, 3.5 million made plans to end their own lives, and 1.7 million actually attempted to die by suicide. 

If you’re thinking about taking your own life, it’s crucial to understand that those thoughts aren’t permanent—feelings aren’t forever, even if they seem desperately urgent or all-consuming right now.

Immediate Actions to Take When You’re in Crisis

Remove access to harmful tools

When you’re having dark thoughts, it’s essential to remove access to things that could be dangerous. It’s critical, even if it’s only temporarily, if you’re considering self-harm. Experts note that limiting access to lethal items is a life-saving step that can prevent suicide. 

Reach out for help

If possible, call, text, or contact someone in your life you trust. Sometimes, even just voicing your feelings out loud can ease the pressure you’re feeling. 

Use grounding techniques

Grounding practices have been found in research to: 

• Promote calmness
• Reduce anxiety
• Regulate heart and respiratory rates
• Improve mood and cognitive function
• Enhance sleep quality

Grounding techniques, such as deep breathing exercises, yoga or meditation, and mindfulness activities, can help you bring yourself into the present and reduce distress. Research shows that even a few minutes of deep breathing can immediately calm you down and help improve your mood. 

If you’re in crisis and need emotional support, call, text, or chat with a crisis line by dialing or texting 988 in the U.S. You are not alone.

Creating a Personal Safety Plan

A personal safety plan is your emotional first-aid kit. It’s a written guide you create to use when life feels like it’s too much to handle on your own. Having a plan ready before you need it reduces the risk of acting on your thoughts. It can provide a sense of control over your emotions. 

“Writing out a safety plan, either on your own, with a therapist, or a trusted person in your life can make a significant difference in managing suicidal thoughts. The safety plan often includes the following: identifying your warning signs, both emotional and physical cues that alert you to being in a heightened state of concern; a list of strategies that can help in these moments (safe distractions like TV, music, movement, art/crafts, grounding exercises such as square breathing): a list with phone numbers of safe people to contact (friends, family, therapist, medical doctor, religious leader); a list of crisis hotlines either by voice or text lines; the address of the closest emergency room.”

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

In studies, only 1 in 10 people with suicidal thoughts had a safety plan, but those who did exhibited higher levels of coping and help-seeking behavior. Safety plans can give you something to turn to when things feel out of control. Here’s what your safety plan should address or include. 

Identify your warning signs

When you have suicidal thoughts, there might be emotional cues that occur leading up to a crisis point. Being able to identify them allows you to use coping skills to recover before your symptoms worsen. Be aware of:

• Racing thoughts
• A looming sense of dread
• Feeling numb
• Increased agitation
• Feeling hopeless or worthless
• Feeling like you’re a burden
• The urge to withdraw from others
• Sleeping more
• Difficulty sleeping
• Intense depression symptoms or emotional pain
• Inner turmoil
• Thoughts like “I just can’t do this anymore,” “It would be so much easier if I just disappeared,” “Nobody would miss me if I were gone,” or “Things will never get better—what’s the point?”

Other physical signs to be aware of include your body feeling heavy, lacking the energy to do things you once loved, or feeling like you don’t want to see people you care about. These can all be early warning signs. Noticing them can help you act or seek help before it’s too late. 

List your coping tools and safe distractions

Having even a short list of tools or distractions to reference in times of crisis can be beneficial. Don’t worry about what you think you should put in your plan. List what you know will actually help you. There’s no right or wrong way to make a safety plan. Use things you know are calming and can refocus your attention away from dark thoughts. Make sure your list is easily accessible and includes contact information for loved ones. 

Writing down the plan, rather than keeping it in your head, is important. It gives you something tangible to rely on if your mind is cloudy or hope feels impossible. 

Some powerful depression coping skills include:

• Listening to your favorite song
• Going for a walk or hike outside
• Drawing, coloring, or doodling
• Talking to your “safe person”
• Practicing your favorite grounding techniques
• Working out

“You can keep a written safety plan in several places in your home or with you if you are away from home and have a digital copy in your phone. Having it written out ahead of time makes it much easier to stay safe in moments of crisis, since in those moments it can be difficult to come up with what to do, and having the safety plan makes it clear as to what steps to take to stay safe and get support. It is also a reminder of the hard work you are putting in to manage these thoughts and gives you control over taking the next steps to support yourself during these difficult times.”

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Reaching Out for Support

Having thoughts about suicide is incredibly lonely, but you don’t have to go through it alone. While it’s common to worry about burdening others or fear that people won’t understand, support can come in many different forms. You may have a close friend or family member you trust, or you can start therapy or join a support group. 

Speaking up and asking for help can be difficult, especially if your dark thoughts include shame or numbness. Even if you’re intimidated or scared to ask for help, it can be the first step in lifting the heaviness in your life. 

If you’re unsure about what to say, try simple phrases, like the following:

• I’m really struggling right now. Can you help me?
• I’m having a tough time and could use you. 
• I’ve recently been having some dark thoughts, and I really need your support. 

If you don’t have someone to talk to

If you feel like you don’t have a friend or family member you can reach out to, there are still safe and supportive options available:

• School counselors, teachers, or campus mental health centers
• Community mental health clinics
• Support groups
• Online forums and peer-support communities for mental health
• Suicide prevention hotlines and text lines

If you’re in the United States, you can dial or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline and speak with trained counselors immediately. You can also visit 988lifeline.org for additional resources and support.

Challenging the Lies Suicidal Thoughts Tell You

Suicidal thoughts distort reality. They can convince you that you’re not worthy of love, nothing will ever get better, or the world will be better off without you in it. While these thoughts can be powerful and persuasive, remember that they’re just thoughts. They’re not facts.

These are symptoms of your pain. This type of thinking is known as cognitive distortions. They’re thought patterns that exaggerate a sense of hopelessness and convince you that you’re not strong enough to survive. 

Common distortions include:

• All or nothing thinking: Black and white thinking that filters out any gray areas and makes things seem worse than they are. For example, you might eat one unhealthy snack when you’re trying to change your eating habits, and then you find yourself immediately thinking, “I’m a total failure. I may as well give up on eating healthy for the rest of the day.”
• Catastrophizing: You jump to the absolute worst scenario or outcome despite having no real evidence. You might realize you made a mistake at work and automatically convince yourself that you’re definitely going to be fired. 
• Personalization: You feel responsible for things you can’t realistically control, which causes feelings of shame or anxiety and a low sense of self-worth. Maybe a friend doesn’t respond to your text right away, so you start thinking you did something wrong and that they’re mad at you. 

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Finding Long-Term Help and Healing Through Different Types of Therapy

The types of therapy that are known for helping with thoughts of suicide:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT): CBT is a type of talk therapy that helps you identify and change unhealthy and unhelpful thought patterns. It offers coping mechanisms and encourages you to challenge cognitive distortions that may be linked to suicidal ideation.
• Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT): DBT is commonly used to help people manage intense emotions like suicidal thoughts. This form of therapy teaches practical skills and focuses on emotional regulation and distress tolerance.
• Trauma-informed therapy: If the source of your pain roots back to trauma or loss, trauma-informed therapy can help you process difficult memories and build resilience.
• Mindfulness and meditation techniques: Mindfulness and meditation help quiet the mind, allowing you to focus on yourself and the present moment, even in times of distress.

Get Mental Health Help with Talkspace

Whether your pain has lasted for years or it’s something new, you deserve care that’s accessible, affordable, and meets you where you are. Contact Talkspace today to discover how online therapy can make healing a possibility.

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Quick Summary

• Naming your emotions helps reduce their intensity and gives you clarity.
• You don’t need to wait for a crisis to strike. Connecting early with trusted friends or family is a courageous act of self-care that strengthens your support network and eases loneliness.
• If close contacts aren’t available, use helplines, peer groups, or online forums for a nonjudgmental connection.
• When no one is available to talk, expressive writing, journaling, or voice memos can reduce mental clutter and promote self-healing.
• Therapy is a valuable resource at any stage—not just for emergencies. It helps process emotions, improve relationships, and build resilience. 

Do you ever feel like you’re carrying around an invisible backpack? Maybe it’s full of fear or sadness. Maybe you don’t know what’s inside, you just know it’s heavy.

Connection isn’t just a luxury, it’s a lifeline. Even if the people around you aren’t emotionally available, there are safe and nonjudgmental places you can turn to to feel heard and seen.

Start by Naming What You’re Feeling

When emotions start to swirl together — stress, anxiety, anger, grief — it’s easy to get swept up in the storm. Slowing down to specify what exactly it is that you’re feeling is like dropping an anchor in choppy water. It won’t make the storm go away, but it can give you something to hold onto. Here are a few prompts that can help you name your feelings more clearly:

• What emotions am I feeling in my body now?
• What am I trying to carry on my own?
• How do I feel in my physical body when things get hard, scary, or overwhelming?

If you’re not in the habit of naming what you’re feeling, it can be difficult to identify your emotions clearly at first. Some psychologists recommend using the wheel of emotions, which describes the full range of human emotions that stem from the six basic emotions as described by pioneering psychology researcher Paul Ekman — anger, disgust, sadness, happiness, surprise, and fear.

Even a few simple words like “I feel invisible” or “I’m scared and I don’t know what to do” can be powerful. When we name what we’re feeling, we give it less power over us. It’s okay if you don’t have the “right” words to describe exactly how you feel. The simple exercise of naming your experience can be enough to shift how you relate to it. 

Reach Out To Someone You Trust

You should know that you don’t have to be in a full-blown crisis to benefit from more connection. If you’re just feeling off, untethered, or emotionally worn out, reaching out to friends or family before things escalate isn’t just wise, it’s a courageous act of self-care. If you’re not sure where to start, try one of these gentle openers to get things going:

• “Hey, do you have a minute? I’ve just been feeling a little overwhelmed and could use someone to talk to.”
• “I’m not looking for advice or solutions, just someone to listen. Would that be okay?”
• “Can I share something with you that’s been weighing on me?”

If you’re thinking, “I need to talk to someone, but I’m not suicidal,” know this: you don’t have to wait for a crisis to reach out. You deserve support for what you’re going through now, no matter how small it might seem.

“Reaching out to someone you trust, such as friends or family, can help you strengthen connections with others and alleviate feelings of loneliness.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

Explore Nonjudgmental Support Options

Not everyone feels safe or comfortable opening up to close friends or family. That’s okay. Maybe the people in your life aren’t great at listening without trying to fix things for you. Maybe they’ve rejected or minimized your feelings when you’ve tried to talk to them in the past. Maybe it’s just easier to talk to someone with a few degrees of separation from you. 

There are supportive spaces that exist just for this purpose, without judgment or pressure. For example:

• Helplines: Confidential and anonymous services can offer immediate emotional support. If you live in the United States, you can call or text 988 for mental health crisis support or 1-800-622-HELP (4357) for treatment referral or information services.
• Peer support groups: These offer solidarity with others who’ve been through similar experiences. In-person and virtual options are available.
• Online forums: Sometimes, it’s just easier to open up to a stranger than someone you know. Online platforms offer the comfort of anonymity to help you process without fear of judgment.

Turn To Writing or Voice Notes If No One’s Available

We’ve all been there at some point — it’s 2 a.m. and you’re lying awake with a barrage of thoughts that won’t stop spiraling. In moments like these, self-expression can be a powerful release, even if there’s no one around to receive it. In fact, research shows that the simple act of writing down our emotions can be a powerful tool to aid self-healing and personal growth. Consider these strategies:

• Journaling: A flow-of-consciousness style journal entry can help you release whatever’s on your mind. Don’t worry about grammar, syntax, or how it sounds when it comes to journaling for your mental health. Just write whatever comes to mind.
• Voice memos: Speak your thoughts aloud into a voice note app. It might feel awkward at first, but it can create real relief. 
• Letters you don’t send: Write a note to someone, even if you never plan to send it. This can help you process interpersonal feelings or let go of anger, grief, or resentment towards that person.

Even if you can’t talk to someone in real time, just getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper can reduce mental clutter and lighten your emotional load.

Don’t Wait Until It’s “Bad Enough” to Seek Therapy

• Parse out confusing or overwhelming emotions
• Process relationships and life transitions
• Understand and regulate your emotional responses and actions
• Learn how to express yourself without fear or self-editing

The benefits of therapy are real and measurable. Research shows that talk therapy can reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression, improve relationship quality, and even rewire the brain’s stress response over time. 

“Consider seeking a professional therapist if you feel that you have no one to talk to. Therapists will listen without being judgmental and will help you express your feelings and problem-solve issues that you are facing.” 

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Olga Molina, D.S.W., LCSW

It’s common to think that no one will get it, but challenge yourself to prove that idea wrong. With the right therapist, therapy can be a grounding space to feel heard, seen, supported, and valued. If you don’t find the perfect fit with the first therapist you meet, that’s normal. Finding the right therapist is like dating. You wouldn’t expect to meet your perfect match after one first date.

Remember, you don’t need a diagnosis or a crisis to benefit from ongoing therapy. All you need is the willingness to show up for yourself, which is, in itself, a powerful first step toward healing.

Find Someone To Talk To With Talkspace

Whether you open up to a friend, a therapist, a peer group, or even your own journal, reaching out for connection is a profound form of self-respect and an integral part of a self-care routine. Every time you give yourself permission to speak up and ask for what you need, you remind yourself that your needs matter.

With Talkspace, connecting to a licensed online therapist is simple and flexible. Whether you prefer messaging, video, or phone sessions, you can start therapy and access support on your terms, from wherever you are. No long waitlists or pressure to explain everything at once. Just compassionate, professional care at your fingertips. Get started today.

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If you’re thinking about taking Gabapentin for anxiety, nerve pain, seizure control, or another condition, you’re probably wondering how long it takes before you’ll start feeling better. Gabapentin is a prescription drug in the class of anticonvulsants. It was originally developed to treat epilepsy and nerve pain, but it’s also commonly prescribed off-label for anxiety. 

There’s no simple answer to how long it takes for Gabapentin to work. The truth is, it depends on several factors. What you’re taking it for, body chemistry, comorbid conditions, and your dosage will all come into play. Waiting for your medication to kick in can be tough, especially if you’re dealing with anxiety. Keep reading to learn what to expect, what might influence your experience, and what to do if Gabapentin isn’t working as you hoped.

How Fast Does Gabapentin Take to Work for Anxiety?

When you start taking Gabapentin, you want fast relief from your symptoms. The good news is you might notice some of the drug’s calming effects within a few hours of taking your first dose. However, the timeline can vary from person to person, and patience is key when you’re prescribed any new medication. 

Much of the research done on Gabapentin shows that while some improvement in anxiety symptoms can happen quickly, it might take longer for some patients to experience the full benefits, in some cases up to a month.&

Factors That Affect How Long Gabapentin Takes to Work

How long does it take for gabapentin to start working? Like many medications, Gabapentin doesn’t work the same way for everyone who takes it. Several factors can impact how quickly and effectively Gabapentin works. Dosage and frequency, the condition being treated, and your metabolism can all affect the timeline. 

Dosage 

Dosage plays a critical role in any drug you’re taking. Treatment is never a one-size-fits-all experience, so it might take a while before your medication works like you’re hoping. The dose of Gabapentin you’re on can affect symptom relief. If a higher dose is needed, your doctor may have you gradually increase the amount you’re on until you get optimal results. 

Research suggests 900 mg daily can effectively reduce anxiety symptoms. However, starting at a lower dose gives your body time to adjust, so there’s less risk of uncomfortable side effects. Some people may respond well to a dose as low as 600 mg daily.   

Condition being treated

What you’re treating can affect the timeline with any drug, and that’s true for Gabapentin as well. For example, if you’re taking it for nerve pain, you may feel relief within hours, but maximum effects can take a few weeks or longer. For symptoms of anxiety, you can start to feel some benefits with your first dose, but it can take up to a month before you see the full impact. 

Individual factors

Body chemistry, overall health, and metabolism affect how you respond to Gabapentin. You might be more sensitive than someone else taking it, or you might need a higher dose before you notice significant improvement.  

How to Know If Gabapentin Is Working

It can be difficult to know if Gabapentin is working for you, especially if your symptoms tend to fluctuate. If you don’t feel an improvement in symptoms or if you’re not sure Gabapentin is working, try keeping a journal to track your mood and symptoms after you take each dose. 

Signs Gabapentin is working may include:

• You feel calm or relaxed: Does your anxiety feel less intense now that you’re taking Gabapentin? Do you feel you are better equipped to handle stress?  
• You’re sleeping better: Sleep and mental health go hand in hand. Gabapentin may help you sleep better, especially if anxiety or pain has been keeping you awake.
• You have less physical tension: Gabapentin helps to reduce some of the physical symptoms, such as muscle tension, headaches, a racing heart, or chest tightness. Noticeable improvements in any of these can be a sign that the drug is working for you. 
• You’re not having as many intrusive thoughts: Feeling less preoccupied with worries or fears is a good sign that Gabapentin is working.
• You feel more engaged in daily activities you’ve been avoiding: Anxiety and pain can make things you once enjoyed less exciting or fun. If you’re finding it easier to focus at work, spend time with friends, or engage in hobbies again, it might be due to Gabapentin.

What to Do If Gabapentin Isn’t Working

If you’ve been taking Gabapentin for a while but still aren’t seeing the results you hoped for, it’s understandable to feel discouraged or frustrated. The steps outlined here can help you navigate this time as you find the most effective treatment plan. 

Give it enough time

Because it can take up to a month to see the full effects, it’s important to be patient and give the medication time to work. If it’s been longer than a month since you were prescribed the medication, you should talk to your doctor about next steps. 

Talk to your provider about adjustments

Never stop taking or change your dosage without consulting your doctor first. They might change how or when you take Gabapentin. For example, they may suggest increasing your dose, changing the time of day you take it, or trying a different or additional medication to help. They can also help you manage uncomfortable side effects from dose adjustments. 

Explore alternatives or add-on therapies

It’s possible that Gabapentin alone won’t offer complete relief. If that’s the case, your doctor may recommend adding another medication, therapy, or lifestyle changes to address more of your symptoms, or suggest replacing Gabapentin with a new medication. It’s not uncommon to use a combined approach to manage anxiety. 

Talk to a Psychiatric Provider About Gabapentin

Your experience with Gabapentin may be different from anyone else’s. You might notice benefits quickly, or it might take time and additional adjustments. Talk to your doctor if you want more information on how long it takes for Gabapentin to work. They’ll monitor your progress and help you find a treatment plan that works. 

If you’re worried about how Gabapentin is working or having severe or unwanted side effects, seeking professional support can make a huge difference. Avoid stopping the medication to prevent Gabapentin withdrawal symptoms. Instead, talk to a Talkspace psychiatrist for guidance.

Talkspace offers online psychiatry services, so it’s easy to connect with licensed providers from the comfort of your own home. Reach out today to learn how you might be able to get a prescription for Gabapentin online today.

Quick Summary

• Family bullying is repeated, intentional behavior—often disguised as “normal conflict”—that causes emotional harm and can come from siblings, parents, or other relatives.
• It’s often dismissed due to cultural norms, “family first” beliefs, or fear of speaking up, but family bullying deeply impacts self-worth, mental health, and trust in relationships.
• Coping includes setting and enforcing boundaries, reducing contact if needed, and seeking safe, supportive environments and help from a therapist.

When bullying comes from within the family, it may be harder to recognize than bullying at school or work because it often happens behind closed doors. Family bullying might also be dismissed as normal family conflict, especially when it involves sibling competition or other close relatives. Bullying within the family isn’t just harmless teasing or occasional arguments. It’s a pattern of behavior that causes real emotional harm. 

Researchers define bullying as intentional, repeated behavior that involves a power imbalance, and it may be physical, emotional, or social. While bullying is often associated with peer groups at school or even work, a similar dynamic can also happen within a family. A sibling, parent, or other relative may use criticism, control, or emotional manipulation to maintain power over another family member. Being bullied by a family member can be just as harmful, or even more so, than bullying from outside the home. 

Continue reading to learn more about what family bullying looks like, why it’s often minimized, and what you can do to protect your well-being as a victim of family bullying. 

What Family Bullying Can Look Like

Family bullying isn’t always obvious — it might show up in quieter ways. These behaviors often happen over time and can be easily brushed off.

Sibling bullying, in particular, is surprisingly common. In a 2024 study, about half the participants reported sibling bullying. The most common type of bullying was verbal bullying, where harm is caused through direct and indirect verbal messages.

Bullying within the family is defined more by how it makes you feel than how it looks to others. You might feel small, powerless, or constantly on edge. Experiences common in family bullying may include:

• Feeling constantly criticized, belittled, or humiliated
• Being ignored or excluded as a form of punishment
• Gaslighting (when your feelings or experiences are denied)
• Experiencing emotional blackmail or guilt-tripping
• Feeling like you must “walk on eggshells” to avoid conflict

These patterns can happen between siblings, parents and children, or other relatives. 

Why Family Bullying Often Gets Dismissed

Bullying within the family is often minimized and dismissed not only by others in the family but also by the person experiencing the bullying. There are several reasons why this happens. 

Some families may have cultural or generational norms that see tough love and strict discipline as necessary and even healthy. A parent or older relative’s behavior may even be influenced by generational trauma due to bullying from their own parents, peers, or loved ones. In these cases, harsh criticism and blunt honesty might be framed as being for your own good. When this happens, it can be difficult to tell when behavior crosses the line into bullying. Instead, you might feel like you need to toughen up or accept it because it’s normal in your family. 

You might also hear phrases like “family comes first” or “they don’t mean it,” which encourage you to overlook any hurtful behavior for the sake of family harmony. While these messages can come from a good place, they can unintentionally silence your valid feelings and keep toxic patterns hidden. 

Fear is another reason bullying can be dismissed. You might feel worried about being blamed, not believed, or cut off if you speak up. This fear can cause you to stay silent, isolate yourself, or just pretend everything is fine to avoid losing connection with your family. 

The Emotional Impact of Family Bullying

Eroded self-worth

When a family member repeatedly criticizes, belittles, or dismisses you, it’s easy to start believing those negative messages. Constant criticism may lead to second-guessing yourself and doubting your self-worth. 

Heightened anxiety and depression

Difficulty trusting others

Family bullying can make it difficult to trust others. You might carry over the fear or suspicion you have in your family relationships into friendships, romantic partnerships, or work settings. 

Guilt and loyalty binds

How To Set Boundaries With a Family Bully

Setting clear family boundaries is an important step in protecting yourself from family bullying. It helps you define what behavior is unacceptable and creates a space for healthier interactions.  If you’re wondering how to deal with difficult family members in a healthy way, here are a few things to consider. 

Clarify what behaviors cross the line

It’s helpful to start by identifying which words and behaviors feel hurtful or disrespectful to you. Examples of some behaviors that often cross the line into family bullying include:

• Criticism or belittling
• Name-calling
• Silent treatment
• Gaslighting
• Guilt-tripping
• Intimidation or threats
• Public humiliation
• Controlling your choices
• Isolating you from outside support
• Yelling or aggressive outbursts
• Invading your privacy 

Communicate boundaries calmly but firmly

To effectively communicate with family when setting boundaries, it’s important to use clear but firm language to help you stand your ground. Here are a few examples of some responses you could practice with your family to help communicate your boundaries:

• If someone yells at you: “I will not continue this conversation if you raise your voice at me.”
• If you’re interrupted: “Please let me finish speaking before you respond.”
• If your choices are criticized: “I appreciate your concern, but this is the decision I’ve made.”
• If you’re excluded: “I notice I’m being left out and I would like to be included.”
• If your privacy is invaded: “I need you to respect my personal space.”
• If you’re being emotionally manipulated: “I won’t engage when guilt or blame is used to control me.”

Follow through with consequences

Setting boundaries is only effective if you follow through with consequences when they’re crossed. For example, if you say you won’t continue a conversation if your family member continues to raise their voice, walk away from the conversation if they continue to yell. 

It might feel uncomfortable, especially with family. However, without enforcement, your boundaries will likely continue to be tested. Remember that setting and enforcing your boundaries is an act of self-respect, not punishment for the other person. 

Reduce contact if needed

Sometimes, the healthiest choice for you is to reduce contact with your family bully or stop being involved with them altogether, at least temporarily. It’s okay to prioritize your own well-being and create space from broken family dynamics that are causing you harm. 

Healing From the Effects of Family Bullying

Healing from family bullying is a process that takes time, patience, and resilience. There are a variety of ways and processes to heal from family bullying. Some include:  

Rebuild your sense of self-worth

Rebuilding your sense of self-worth requires challenging and reframing the negative messages you’ve internalized from bullying. Positive affirmations and self-validation can help remind you of your strengths and value, creating a kinder, more supportive inner voice. 

Process grief and anger safely

Learn to identify safe vs. unsafe dynamics

Part of healing is learning to recognize what a healthy relationship looks like. When you know what a safe relationship dynamic looks like, it’s easier to trust your gut instinct and identify red flags in your future relationships. 

Reconnect with joy and agency

Healing also means rediscovering what brings you joy and a sense of control in your life. Seek out activities, friendships, and environments that uplift you. 

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

When To Seek Outside Help

You don’t have to wait until you feel overwhelmed to seek help. There are many different support groups or online communities for people with toxic or abusive family experiences, whether it’s manipulative parents or toxic siblings. 

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Break the Cycle With Support From Talkspace

You don’t have to continue the cycle of pain from family bullying. Healing is possible. Talkspace offers licensed therapists who specialize in family dynamics, trauma, and boundary-setting. 

With Talkspace, you get flexible, judgment-free support that fits into your everyday life. This can be especially helpful for those navigating complex family dynamics in silence. Taking the first step to healing can open the door to stronger, healthier connections within and outside of your family. Whether you’re dealing with parental struggles or issues with your own children, discover online therapy for family dynamics today.

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Whether you’re on board or not, artificial intelligence (AI) is here, and it’s not going anywhere soon. For therapists, it’s somewhat of a double-edged sword. Depending on how well you adapt and what you ultimately use it for, AI can be a powerful tool but it also must be used responsibly. It can help you juggle larger caseloads, deal with ever-growing piles of administrative work, and manage an increasing demand to communicate with clients outside of sessions. 

AI tools for therapy are designed to make you more efficient, effective, and responsive in your role as a therapist. When you know how to use it, AI can help you get back to focusing on what truly matters—helping people. 

Read on to learn how AI for therapists can help you without replacing the human relationship that’s at the core of therapy. 

Are AI Tools Safe to Use in Therapy?

If you’re thinking about using AI in your practice, it’s natural to be concerned about ethics, safety, and privacy. A fundamental piece of the provider-client relationship relies on your ability to protect the people you’re trying to help. You pride yourself on offering the safest and highest standards of care, and the best AI for therapists ensures you can do exactly that. 

Data privacy and HIPAA compliance

In healthcare, privacy is not just a matter of trust. It’s a legal requirement. HIPAA rules exist to protect patients, so AI tools for therapists must incorporate strong safeguards that reflect HIPAA standards. 

Research suggests that concerns about privacy issues surrounding the use of AI in healthcare are valid. In one study, algorithms successfully re-identified anonymous health information and linked it to actual individuals. Other studies found that nearly three-quarters of AI therapy apps (74%) are at “critical risk” for privacy concerns.

As a licensed therapist, it’s your responsibility to choose HIPAA-compliant tools and apps. You want to protect yourself and your clients. 

Look for AI tools and platforms that:

• Encrypt data
• Limit access to personal information
• Don’t sell or share sensitive data 
• Offer two-factor authentication
• Conduct regular risk assessments and updates
• Offer a clear breach notification policy

Ethical considerations and boundaries

Bias is another concern. AI models are trained on existing data and information, which can have discriminatory patterns or be inaccurate. Sometimes, bias causes AI to misdiagnose or misinterpret symptoms. These considerations further highlight that AI should only be relied on as supplemental care, never a replacement for clinical expertise and judgment. 

Evaluating the quality of AI tools

Like any technology, not all AI tools for therapists are the same. Before adopting a new tool, it’s essential to vet it carefully. Doing so helps you avoid pitfalls so you can offer the best care possible. 

Ask yourself the following questions about any AI tool you’re considering: 

• Does it seamlessly fit into your current workflow?
• Is it intuitive and easy to learn and use?
• Does the programmer or developer offer ongoing support and documentation? 
• Are client privacy and ethical standards clearly acknowledged and addressed? 

Best AI Tools for Administrative Efficiency

SimplePractice smart features

SimplePractice is a cloud-based HIPAA-compliant platform that focuses on practice management and Electronic Health Records (EHRs). It features a user-friendly interface that offers key functionalities, including automated scheduling, documentation, telehealth, billing, and a client portal.

SimplePractice is ideal for small group and private practices that want to streamline billing, scheduling, and note-taking processes. 

How SimplePractice (Note Taker) uses AI: 

• Audio recording and transcription: Securely records in-person or telehealth sessions, transcribes them, and deletes the original audio.
• AI-drafted notes: Uses transcripts to generate draft progress notes.
• Learns from your edits: Adapts to your style. The more you edit, the better it aligns with documentation habits.
• Efficiency gains: According to SimplePractice, users save an average of five hours per week on documentation

Carepatron

Carepatron is an easy-to-use healthcare software built with practitioners in mind. This cloud-based, all-in-one EHR and practice management software streamlines workflows and simplifies paperwork, making it easier to manage caseloads and stay organized. 

Carepatron is great if you’re looking for an all-in-one solution for communication assistance and admin, and documentation tasks.

How Carepatron uses AI:

• Medical transcription: Auto-converts audio sessions or dictations to time-stamped text.
• Automated note generation: Using customized templates, transform transcripts into formatted clinical notes (like SOAP, DAP).
• Drafts messages for communication: Crafts polished messages, email responses, reports, and more, using your style for consistency. 
• Creates and updates workflows and tasks: Automates repetitive tasks (E.G., appointment reminders, invoices, and note generation).

Ensora Health (formerly TheraNest)

Ensora Health works for practices of any size that need support automating billing and documentation procedures. 

How Ensora Health uses AI:

• Whole person care: Data-driven approach to client health.
• Streamlines administrative tasks: Automates documentation, scheduling, and billing.
• Therapy note creation and enhancement: Enhances therapy session notes with transcription and summaries of in-person or telehealth sessions.
• Supports clinical judgment: Designed to support, not replace, professional expertise. Can identify patterns and offer insights.

Augnito

Augnito lets you engage with your patients more efficiently. Clinical documentation and Electronic Medical Records (EMRs) generate structured medical reports while streamlining workflow, driving patient engagement and reducing claim denials. 

Augnito is for therapists who prefer speaking vs. typing and are looking for a way to streamline their note-taking process. 

How Augnito uses AI:

• Medical documentation and dictation: AI-powered medical dictation software.
• Clinical decision support: Offers evidence-based recommendations.
• Voice AI: Advanced speech recognition models understand and transcribe medical conversations more accurately.
• Mental health awareness: AI-driven solutions that enhance diagnosis, accuracy, and speed while expanding access to care.
• Ambient clinical intelligence: Automatically documents conversations with your patients, helping you in clinical decision-making.

AutoNotes

AutoNotes generates structured progress notes and treatment plans in under a minute. You can dictate or type details about your sessions and choose the template you prefer (SOAP, DAP, BIRP, and more). AutoNotes also ensures compliance with HIPAA/PHIPA.

AutoNotes can be a great addition if you’re looking to cut down on documentation time. 

How AutoNotes uses AI:

• Medical speech recognition: AI-powered speech-to-text software known for accuracy and speed.
• Ambient Clinical Intelligence (ACI): Automatically documents conversations and structures relevant information into Electronic Health Records (EHRs).
• Enhanced documentation: Streamlines documentation and reduces manual data entry to save time and minimize therapist burnout.
• Improved efficiency: Automated documentation streamlines your workflow, enhancing productivity.
• Customization: Personalize vocabulary to improve user experience. 

Upheal

Upheal is an AI-powered assistant designed by therapists for therapists. You can record and accept uploads of therapy sessions and use AI to generate structured progress notes (SOAP, DAP, EMDR, and more). Upheal also analyzes session content and helps you create SMART goal treatment plans. HIPAA, GDPR, SOC 2, and PHIPA compliant.

Upheal can be useful for tracking progress and streamlining note-taking. 

How Upheal uses AI:

• Progress notes: Generates first drafts of notes so you can focus on client interaction.
• Treatment plan generator: Helps you create tailored treatment plans with specific goals.
• Analytics: Offers metrics and other session analytics related to speech patterns, tracking client progress and offering clinical insights.
• Mental health-specific AI: Technology is trained specifically for therapy and psychiatric sessions.

Best AI Tools for Clinical Support

If you’re looking for AI tools that offer clinical support, there are several well-known options available today. These tools and platforms provide insight, measure engagement, and track therapeutic progress. Again, it’s essential to keep in mind that, like all AI tools for therapists, these are designed to enhance outcomes and efficiency, not replace the therapeutic relationship between a patient and a human therapist.

Therachat

Therachat is a fully HIPAA/PIPEDA-compliant digital companion tool that helps you provide the best care possible. This AI-based mobile journaling app supports client engagement with user-friendly reminders and to-dos. It offers clinically curated, engaging activities to keep clients on track, both during and in between your sessions, so they can reach their goals more quickly.

You should consider Therachat if you want to maintain engagement and monitor client progress outside of sessions. 

How Therachat uses AI:

• Customizable platform: Offers journaling and emotion tracking.
• Direct messaging, text, and homework or assignment analysis: Highlights client input and tracks emotions over time, offering insights. 
• Provides auto reminders: Helps your clients remember to complete their tasks.

Eleos Health

Eleos Health can be helpful for tracking interventions and enhancing session outcomes. 

How Eleos Health uses AI:

• Customized to understand behavioral health: Eleos Health’s technology was developed using Natural Language Processing (NLP).
• Trust Center: Security reviews are available to help you learn about risk profiles, data security, and privacy compliance. Offers AI Risk Management Summary, which encompasses all aspects of the AI ecosystem, from R&D to deployment to ongoing operations. 
• Retrieval-Augmented Generation (RAG): Grounds AI outputs to offer well-written, contextually accurate, and clinically relevant transcripts.

Lyssn

Lyssn can be a valuable tool if you’re looking for enhanced supervision, training, and continuing education. 

How Lyssn uses AI:

• Evaluates and improves practice: Uses gold-standard tools (calls, transcripts, video) to assess sessions and offer human-like feedback. 
• On-demand training: Automated feedback and coaching enhances your interactions with clients. 
• Generates clinical notes: Automatically drafts clinical notes, saving you time so you can focus on other areas of your practice. 
• Offers strategies for implementation: Provides resources, such as webinars, that show you how to expertly and effectively integrate AI tools into your practice.

Best AI Tools for Client Communication & Support

As a therapist, your goals for every client are growth, healing, and progress. AI tools for therapists that offer support between sessions are powerful. They can enhance engagement and provide resources clients can access independently, empowering them on their healing journey. AI tools and platforms are excellent aids to build upon the hard work you and your clients do in each session. 

Talkcast for Talkspace therapists

Talkcast is a new AI-powered feature that enables Talkspace therapists to create personalized audio episodes (mini-podcasts) for clients to reinforce therapy insights between sessions. These 3–5-minute episodes are therapist-generated, clinically reviewed, and available asynchronously within the secure Talkspace app.

While not a two-way communication tool, Talkcast extends the therapeutic experience by offering clients timely support they can revisit when needed. Therapists maintain full control, selecting session-relevant themes and reviewing each episode script before it’s shared with the client, ensuring alignment with treatment goals and clinical appropriateness.

Two major benefits of Talkcast:

• On-demand support: Clients can listen to personalized content anytime, reinforcing techniques without needing a live session.
• Therapist efficiency: Providers can offer meaningful support without adding to their real-time workload, helping them scale care sustainably.

The newly launched feature is ideal for Talkspace therapists looking to offer thoughtful, evidence-based support between sessions, without overextending their bandwidth. 

Wysa

Wysa is an AI-driven platform and chatbot that provides a safe and anonymous space for clients to manage stress, anxiety, and sleep concerns independently. Wysa uses a conversational interface and evidence-based, proven therapeutic techniques, including cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). It offers insights that help you tailor treatment to client needs. 

With Wysa, you can supplement in-session work, which can benefit clients who need additional support. 

How Wysa uses AI:

• Copilot: Hybrid AI and licensed provider human support platform that enhances clinical care.
• Integrated AI support: Secure and real-time support through asynchronous messaging, personalized digital tools, and automated patient tracking.
• Guided self-help: AI self-help tools that can effectively improve symptoms, freeing up your time to offer support where it’s most needed.
• Drives better outcomes and lower costs: AI promotes early intervention and ongoing support for optimal outcomes. 

MindDoc

MindDoc helps clients who are engaged and enthused about taking an active role in their therapeutic journey. 

How MindDoc uses AI:

• Personalizes mental health support: Analyzes user responses to daily mood, energy, and habit questions. 
• Identifies patterns and trends: AI reviews client behavior to identify patterns and trends related to mental health. 
• Creates personalized feedback: Based on user responses, the app provides insights, messages, and coping mechanisms. 

Embracing AI Without Losing the Human Touch

AI is here to stay. If you choose to, AI can be a powerful supplement to your practice, the therapy you provide, and other parts of client treatment plans. If you view it as a clinical assistant—not a substitute—it can enhance the impact you have on your clients. Therapists who use AI thoughtfully can reduce burnout and reach a broader range of clients. Whether you’re using AI for couples therapy or individual counseling, AI supported therapy enables you to deliver more effective care to your patients while maintaining empathy, ensuring safety, and enhancing connection.

Interested in becoming a Talkspace therapist? Reach out and explore online therapy jobs today. 

Sources:

1. Murdoch B. Privacy and artificial intelligence: challenges for protecting health information in a new era. BMC Medical Ethics. 2021;22(1). doi:10.1186/s12910-021-00687-3. https://bmcmedethics.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12910-021-00687-3. Accessed June 29, 2025.
2. Iwaya LH, Babar MA, Rashid A, Wijayarathna C. On the privacy of mental health apps. Empirical Software Engineering. 2022;28(1). doi:10.1007/s10664-022-10236-0. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9643945/. Accessed June 29, 2025.
3. AI-powered Note Taker | SimplePractice. https://www.simplepractice.com/features/ai-therapy-notes-taker/. Accessed June 29, 2025.
4. Talkspace Expands Provider AI Toolkit with Talkcast, a New Personalized Podcast – Talkspace, Inc. Talkspace, Inc. https://investors.talkspace.com/news-releases/news-release-details/talkspace-expands-provider-ai-toolkit-talkcast-new-personalized. Accessed June 29, 2025. 

Maybe going back to school is an idea that’s been floating around in the back of your head for years, or maybe things have changed, and now it finally feels like the right time. Regardless of what sparked the idea, going back to school as a single mom can stir up a whirlwind of emotions, from excitement to anxiety, and perhaps even some fear. 

Raising a child by yourself is no small feat on its own, but returning to school while doing it takes grit and perseverance. It means juggling single-parenting duties with work, finances, and education all at once. However, a new degree can open the door to new opportunities and more financial freedom down the road. It’s a big step and a personal choice. Only you know what’s best for you and your family.

Honor Your Feelings But Don’t Let Them Hold You Back

Does dreaming about going back to school spark a fire in you, but also leave you with lingering feelings of fear, guilt, or self-doubt? It’s not uncommon for many single parents to have any of these thoughts: 

• “Am I being selfish?” 
• “Is it too late for me?”
• “Can I really pull this off on my own?”

Those feelings are completely valid and normal. Being a single mom already comes with the pressure to put everyone else in your family first, but your dreams matter, too. Going back to school doesn’t mean you’re putting yourself over your child. In fact, you’re teaching them a valuable lesson — that it’s never too late to chase your dreams. Honor your feelings, but also recognize that this choice can provide long-term stability, confidence, and opportunity for you both.

Create a Plan That Works for Your Life

Once you’ve decided to go back to school, the next question becomes: How? Everyone’s schedule, support system, and energy level are a little different, so keep this in mind as you plan ahead. The key is to design a realistic plan that fits your life. 

It’s not just about picking a school but about choosing a path that meshes with your responsibilities and honors your time. That might mean fewer classes per term or doing homework after bedtime. It’s hard to know what’s going to work until you try, but flexibility, honesty, and pacing are your greatest assets here.

Explore flexible options and pacing

Many schools offer flexible formats built with busy adults in mind. Consider looking into part-time programs, online degrees, night classes, or asynchronous courses that let you progress at your own pace. If full-time schooling isn’t realistic, these alternatives can reduce stress and make getting an education feel less like an uphill battle.

Online programs can be a game-changer for single parents. You can attend classes while supervising play time, listen to lectures during lunch breaks, and avoid the commute altogether.

Be realistic about your time and bandwidth

If you’re a single mom going back to school, your time is precious and likely already stretched thin. When setting goals and expectations around education, be realistic by factoring everything into account. This includes your work schedule, your child’s needs, and your own. Try to be honest with yourself about how much you can take on each semester.

Start small, even if that means only taking one class at a time at first. You don’t have to do it all at once to make meaningful progress toward your academic goals. A plan that protects your energy is one you’re more likely to stick with.

Explore Financial Aid and Scholarships

If finances are your biggest concern, you have options. Financial aid is out there specifically to support students like you. Start by filling out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) application, even if you’re not sure if you’ll qualify. From there, you can learn more about access to grants, loans, and work-study programs. Many single parents may also qualify for Federal Pell Grants, which don’t need to be repaid.

Next, consider looking into scholarships specifically designed for single parents and adult students. The Jeanette Rankin Foundation, the Live Your Dream Awards (formerly known as the Soroptimist Program), and the Patsy Mink Foundation all offer financial support to women going back to school.

Many schools also offer tuition payment plans, so be sure to ask about these before enrolling. If you’re currently employed, ask your employer if they offer tuition assistance as part of your employee benefits.

Build a Support System You Can Lean on

Going back to school as a single mom doesn’t mean you have to go it alone. Building and leaning on your support network, before signing up for your first class, is one of the smartest, most sustainable steps you can take.

“The saying ‘it takes a village’ is so true when you are juggling the demands of parenthood and your education. It is crucial to seek out support in a variety of ways, practical and emotional, as you navigate this chapter of life. Being able to ask for help is a sign of strength and allows you to achieve your goals as a parent and as a student. For example, maybe there is another mom in your class and you can trade off child care or study together while your children play, which would provide both emotional support and practical help. In addition, don’t hesitate to reach out to your school and ask about any resources they may have available to help support your educational journey as a parent.”

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Maybe this means your sister watches the kids one night a week so you can study, or you find a classmate to swap notes with when family emergencies pop up and you have to miss a lecture. Accountability buddies can also be a great way to keep yourself on track.

Don’t overlook resources at your school or in your community either. Some campuses offer on-site child care, parenting support groups, and peer mentorship programs. The more you’re able to build a village around you, the more supported and capable you’ll feel as the workload mounts.

Quiet the Guilt, Trust the Goal

If you still can’t seem to shake the feeling of “what if I’m not doing the right thing?” start by acknowledging that that’s normal. So many single parents grapple with the guilt of worrying about missed moments, stretched schedules, or whether they’re asking too much of themselves or their children.

Next, remember that going back to school as a single mom isn’t a detour from good parenting—it’s part of it. You’re not stepping away from being a parent but rather stepping toward a brighter, more secure future for you and your children.

Your kids may not fully understand your decision, but that doesn’t mean your efforts are going unnoticed. By modeling resilience and perseverance, your kids will learn that growth, lifelong learning, and self-investment are valuable at any stage of life. As they get older, they’ll look back with greater appreciation for your drive, the sacrifices you made, and your underlying motivations. 

Find Calm in the Chaos With Coping Skills

Life as a single mom and a student can feel nonstop, but there are still ways to cultivate calm moments amongst the chaos. Try quick resets like:

• Voice-note journaling while folding laundry
• Five-minute breathing exercises for anxiety before class
• Reciting a simple mantra or positive affirmation when you feel untethered

These little pauses don’t require much time or energy, but they can make a big difference in managing stress before it spirals into single-parent burnout.

Find Your Rhythm With Studying at Home

Going back to school as a single mom doesn’t require large blocks of uninterrupted time to find effective methods of studying at home. Maybe you review flashcards on your phone during your lunch break or save larger assignments for after the kids are in bed. If your kids have homework too, study time at the kitchen table can become a family affair. 

Don’t worry if your routine isn’t perfect from the get-go. Start with what feels realistic and adjust as you see fit.

Know When to Reach Out for Mental Health Support

If anxiety, stress, or exhaustion starts to feel more like the rule than the exception, it’s time to check in with yourself and possibly with a professional. 

Mental health support shouldn’t be thought of as a last resort but rather a proactive and empowering part of caring for yourself and your child. Therapy can help you navigate shifting responsibilities, manage burnout symptoms, and process the emotional burden of balancing school and solo parenting.

If you’re struggling with back-to-school anxiety and consistently find that you have trouble sleeping, frequent bouts of irritability, or persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, consider seeking support from a licensed professional therapist sooner rather than later.

– Talkspace therapist Jill Daino, LCSW-R, BC-TMH

Find Strength and Support With Talkspace

Whether you need help managing mom burnout, building confidence, or simply processing the big changes you’re facing, Talkspace is here to support your journey. 

While the actual prevalence is unknown, research suggests an estimated 1.3 – 1.4 million caregivers are under the age of 18 in the United States. It’s a phenomenon known as parentification, and it ​happens when a child becomes “the responsible one” in a family. Parentification​ trauma can occur when children are forced to take on adult responsibilities, like doing most of the household chores, comforting an emotionally distressed parent, or caring for younger siblings. The role of caregiver often keeps them from playing, having friends, or succeeding in school. It’s more common than many people realize, yet it’s still largely overlooked in the conversations we have today about family dynamics.

Fortunately, if you’re dealing with the emotional burden of parentification, healing is possible. Read on as we explore the causes, types, long-term effects, and ways to recover from parentification. We’re shedding light on what happens if you step into a caregiver’s role before you’re ready and how you can overcome the pain it caused in your life. 

What Is Parentification?

The term parentification​ was first coined by family therapist Salvador Minuchin in the late 1960s. Psychiatrist Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy later defined it in 1973. It’s essentially a role reversal, where, as a child, you become your family’s caregiver. 

While it’s argued that it is healthy for kids to have responsibilities in the home, they should be age-appropriate; parentification​ is not. The inappropriate burden placed on parentified children and adolescents disrupts normal and healthy development.

There are two general types of parentification:

• Emotional: You emotionally support your parents, siblings, or other family members. You often found yourself acting as a confidant or mediator for your parents and siblings.
• Instrumental: In this case, you took on practical caregiving tasks and roles in the home, like cooking, cleaning, shopping, or managing other household duties.

Emotional parentification

If you grew up dealing with emotional parentification, you probably learned to believe that you’re responsible for other people’s emotions. Even today, you might find that you still put others’ needs before your own.

Instrumental parentification

Instrumental parentification happens when you’re expected to do physical or practical tasks beyond what’s expected at a given age. 

If you experienced instrumental parentification, you might have:

• Prepped meals
• Managed finances
• Cared for younger siblings without supervision
• Handled household chores and responsibilities
• Shopped for home and personal needs

It’s normal, and even healthy, to contribute to family life, but instrumental parentification can quickly become harmful. If constant responsibilities at home interfered with your development, relationships, social life, or education, it wasn’t helpful. At some point, it probably even started doing some long-term damage.

“When children become responsible for caring for themselves and their siblings, they often skip important developmental milestones. This causes the child to become prone to trauma as an adult, experiencing PTSD and challenges in relationships because they lack maturity, feelings, and safety.”

– Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW

Why Does Parentification Happen?

Parentification typically starts with complex family dynamics or external pressures. There are four common causes of parentification:

• Family dysfunction
• Parental absence
• Cultural or economic reasons
• Intergenerational trauma

Family dysfunction

For example, a parent who struggled with addiction might not have been emotionally available to care for you or your family. They might have needed, expected, or demanded that you keep the household going or care for your younger siblings.

“Mental health struggles or substance use problems can lead to a role reversal, forcing the child to take care of themselves, siblings, and sometimes the parent. This can cause the child to miss out on feelings of innocence and security. Thus, causing the child to grow up faster than they should.  Even though they grow up, they lack the understanding, structure, and trust that they gain from their parents in childhood. Many do not understand how to set healthy boundaries or develop healthy adult relationships.”

– Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW

The absence of a parent

Parents can be absent for any number of reasons. Death, divorce, incarceration, or emotional unavailability can all create stark voids in a parent’s ability to be an effective caregiver. If you had an absent parent growing up, your natural response might have been to try and fill the gaps. Maybe you managed household finances or emotionally supported family members.

Cultural or economic reasons

Some cultures encourage children to contribute to the family’s welfare early on. Collectivist cultures, for example, expect children to care for younger siblings or help run the family business. While this might foster resilience and independence, there’s a fine line between allowing a child to help and the harm that parentification causes.

Economic hardships, especially in single-parent homes, sometimes require children to take on adult-like responsibilities so the family can survive.

Intergenerational trauma

Parentification doesn’t usually come out of nowhere. It’s often something that gets passed down through generations. If a parent had to take on too much as a child—maybe they were expected to care for siblings, manage adult emotions, or handle responsibilities beyond their age—they may unintentionally expect the same from their own kids. It’s not always out of neglect; sometimes, it’s just what feels normal to them. However, when those patterns repeat and parenting styles continue, the emotional weight of growing up too soon keeps getting handed down, generation after generation. Breaking that cycle of intergenerational trauma starts with recognizing it for what it is.

The Effects of Parentification on Children and Adults

If you grew up as a parentified child, you may still be carrying some of that trauma with you, which is totally understandable. Being forced to take on adult roles before you’re emotionally or physically ready can affect you for the rest of your life.  

On children

Parentification can cause long-term effects that alter your life, relationships, and ability to function every day as a child. 

• Increased anxiety and stress: Constant responsibilities may have resulted in chronic worry and pressure.
• Loss of childhood: You likely missed out on age-appropriate, healthy, and normal socialization or other experiences.
• Guilt and shame: It’s normal if you felt conflicted as a child. You might have blamed yourself for your family’s problems or felt responsible for trying to fix them.
• Difficulties setting boundaries as adults: Because you grew up prioritizing the needs of others before your own, it might still be difficult for you to set healthy relationship boundaries.

On adults

The lingering effects of parentification can follow you into adulthood. It’s only by understanding them that you can overcome their impact and heal from them. 

• People pleasing and codependency: As an adult, you still feel a strong need to care for others, even if it means putting your own needs last.  
• Chronic guilt or over-responsibility: You might feel guilty and responsible for the well-being of others in your life, even now that you’re grown.
• Burnout and emotional exhaustion: Persistent caregiving can take a toll and eventually lead to burnout or emotional exhaustion.
• Low self-worth: If you internalize the belief that your needs aren’t important, it can cause lifelong self-esteem issues.
• Intimacy challenges: Parentification can cause trust issues. If it’s difficult for you to form close, healthy relationships as an adult, parentification might be why. 
• Hyper-independence: Your past experiences can make you hesitant to rely on others. You likely learned to be self-reliant early on, and you may still struggle to let others in.

How to Recognize if You Were a Parentified Child

Realizing you were a parentified child often comes later in life, but it’s critical to understand your emotional history so you can start the healing process.

If you’re unsure, ask yourself reflective questions like:

• Were you often responsible for your parents’ or siblings’ emotional well-being?
• Were you expected to manage adult household tasks?
• Did you often suppress your needs and feelings to keep the family peace?
• Do you struggle as an adult with setting boundaries or saying no, even when it would be in your best interest?

Healing from Parentification

The good news is that you can heal from parentification. A big part of the process involves reclaiming your childhood and the emotional space you lost when you took on adult-like roles in your home. 

Inner child work

To heal from childhood trauma, it’s important to connect with and nurture your wounded inner child. Addressing unmet needs and unresolved emotions from your formative years is essential for growth and healing.

Setting boundaries and learning self-care

The ability to say no is crucial for mental well-being. As an adult who was parentified in the past, breaking the patterns of accepting too much responsibility is key to your recovery. Setting boundaries with family is one way to do this, even if it feels unnatural at first. 

Reparenting yourself

Reparenting is a therapeutic process that involves giving yourself the care, validation, and protection you didn’t get as a child. You might want to work with a qualified, experienced therapist for this part. They’ll use self-compassion exercises, help you identify unmet needs, and offer tools you can use to find emotional safety in your life today. 

“A therapist can help guide someone through the process of reparenting themselves by providing a safe space for the client to explore past experiences and emotions, and by helping them identify and address unmet needs from their childhood. This process fosters self-compassion and develops healthy coping mechanisms.”

– Talkspace therapist Reshawna Chapple, PhD, LCSW

Rebuilding identity

To rebuild your identity, you must separate your current sense of self from the parentified role you once played. This is how you’ll find authentic self-expression and true growth. Therapy will be instrumental in helping you rediscover who you are outside of the role you adopted as a caregiver long ago.

Professional support through therapy

Therapy is critical in overcoming some childhood wounds. Certain types of therapy are more effective than others when dealing with parentification. For example, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), trauma-informed therapy, and family therapy are all effective in helping you address the negative impact your childhood had on you.

Online therapy is an accessible and convenient way to find help. Talkspace provides support as you explore and heal from the painful dynamics of parentification, and you can do it all in a private, comfortable, at-home setting.

Breaking the Cycle: You Deserve to Heal

If you were parentified as a child, it’s not your fault. You carried a weight that no child should have to bear. Your experiences as a child don’t have to rule your life as an adult. Recognizing the pattern is your first step toward healing. 

Therapy can offer you a safe space to unpack your childhood experiences. Talkspace is an excellent place for you to explore unhealthy or unhelpful patterns you developed in childhood. Online therapists can help you build the emotional resilience you need to overcome pain from your past.

Find the support system you need as you work to become the best version of yourself as an adult. Start healing today.

Relationships with parents can be complicated, even if things seem fine on the outside. When manipulation is involved, relationships become confusing and emotionally draining. Recognizing the signs of manipulative parents can be challenging, as some emotionally manipulative parents hide their controlling behaviors behind a mask of concern, tradition, or what they’ll claim are good intentions.

If you’ve ever felt guilty about setting boundaries, or you’ve doubted your feelings or questioned your self-worth after dealing with manipulative family members, you’re not alone. It’s extremely difficult to navigate a relationship with manipulative parents without help and guidance. Keep reading to learn how to identify manipulative behaviors and get practical tools so you can protect your emotional well-being.

Common Signs of Manipulative Parents

Manipulation can take many forms, and it’s often subtle or disguised by love. Understanding some of the signs and tactics used can help you recognize if you have manipulative parents.

Guilt-tripping

Guilt-tripping is a common manipulative technique. Manipulative parents shame or blame you so you’ll do what they want. They may say things to put the responsibility for their happiness on you. Their words make you want to comply because you feel guilty, not because it’s something you genuinely want to do.

If you’ve ever been guilt-tripped by a parent, you might have heard things like:

• “After all I do for you, you can’t even call?” 
• “If you really love me, you’d come home early.”
• “I sacrificed so much for you, and this is how you pay me back?”
• “I guess I’m just not that important to you.”

Guilt trips can destroy your self-confidence, lead to resentment, and make it impossible to maintain a healthy relationship.

Gaslighting

Narcissistic gaslighting is a manipulative tactic that makes you doubt your own reality. A parent who gaslights you intentionally makes you question your memory, perception, or, in extreme cases, your sanity. 

When you open up about feeling hurt by something your parent said, their response might include gaslighting phrases like:

• “You’re too sensitive.”
• “Come on, that never happened.”
• “It wasn’t that bad.”
• “You’re remembering it wrong.”
• “Don’t you think you’re overreacting a bit?”

Conditional love

Your parents are supposed to love you unconditionally, but a toxic parent holds their love hostage. Getting their affection or approval depends on your behavior and achievements. Conditional love now can make you tie your self-worth to external achievements later in life. It often leads to chronic anxiety, low self-esteem, and trouble regulating emotions.  

“A parent’s conditional love can have long-term effects on a person’s self-worth; it teaches that love is a contract. One party has to provide exactly the expectations of the other or love will be withdrawn. The adult or child is constantly wanting the approval of the parent, and their biggest fear is that they are not worthy of love. Over time, all relationships may be seen as contracts where all conditions must be met even if they are self-harming.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Conditional love from a parent might sound like:

• “I’m so proud of you when you get good grades.”
• “You used to be such a good kid.”
• “If you really cared about this family, you’d behave differently.”
• “I’ll support you when you finally make choices I can be proud of.”

Control disguised as concern

A technique manipulative parents use is to present control as worry or concern. For example, they might insist on knowing every detail of your life, but insist it’s for your own good. They may try to discourage your independence by claiming they’re just trying to protect you. 

Parents can offer guidance, but when their actions feel more like control and support, it can keep you from developing independence or growing into your own person. Studies show that parents who are too controlling often have children who struggle to form healthy relationships later in life.

When a parent uses control disguised as concern, they may:

• Insist on knowing every detail of your day while saying, “I’m just worried about your safety.”
• Try to convince you to make decisions or choices they want and tell you, “I’m just trying to protect you from yourself.”
• Repeatedly call or text you and say they’re concerned about you, but in reality, they’re trying to assert control over your social life and friendships

Undermining your confidence

Manipulative parents will be subtly or overly critical of your choices or abilities. You might hear snide comments about your appearance or style under the false pretense that they’re just trying to “help you improve.”

An emotionally abusive parent tries to undermine your confidence by saying things like:

• “Are you sure you can handle that?”
• “You’d look so much better if you just lost some weight.”

Playing the victim

Some parents avoid taking responsibility for their actions by playing the victim. They’re really just trying to take the focus off themselves and make you look like the insensitive one. Their goal is to make you feel guilty for standing up for yourself.

If you confront them about their hurtful behavior, they might respond with something like: 

• “I guess I’m just a terrible parent.”
• “No one appreciates what I do.”
• “It must be hard to have a parent like me.”

Using money or help as leverage

Offering financial support or practical help, like paying for groceries or giving you a car, is a classic manipulative move by some parents. 

They might use “kindness” or generosity to control your decisions. They’ll have no qualms about reminding you how much they’ve spent on you. They might even go so far as to threaten to cut you off if you don’t follow their wishes or demands. This creates a power imbalance that makes it hard to assert your independence.

Turning family members against each other

Commonly referred to as triangulation, this emotional manipulation tactic involves pitting relatives against each other directly to control the family dynamic or avoid accountability. Behavior like this can fracture families and cause long-term tension.

For example, your parent might: 

• Share private information about you with your siblings
• Create a sibling rivalry by showing blatant favoritism
• Encourage one sibling to spy on another

“Triangulation can affect sibling dynamics by pitting them against each other. This pattern can develop due to an unresolved family crisis that people feel helpless to solve. Instead, a feud between siblings could be a way to express the anger and frustration when the real issue isn’t being confronted. An environment where the main family crisis can be talked about can bring clarity.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Disrespecting boundaries

Boundaries are a crucial aspect of any healthy relationship. They help build respect and strengthen bonds, but a manipulative parent will ignore any boundaries you set. If your parent repeatedly violates your boundaries, they’re sending you a clear message — your needs don’t matter, and they certainly don’t respect you. 

If you’re dealing with a controlling parent, you might notice they do things like:

• Show up unannounced
• Read your private messages or go through your things
• Dismiss your requests for space

Silent treatment or passive-aggressiveness

Refusing to communicate or using passive-aggressive behavior is a classic manipulative move. It’s a parent exerting control over you by creating an environment of emotional uncertainty that keeps you on edge.

Instead of addressing issues directly, they might decide to: 

• Give you the silent treatment
• Make sarcastic remarks
• Act cold and distant until you give in to their demands

How to Deal with Manipulative Parents

Learning to recognize their behavior is the first step when dealing with a manipulative parent, but real change only comes if you decide to take action. The following strategies will help you protect yourself as you set firm boundaries so you can heal. They may even work if a parent refuses to change.

Recognize the manipulation tactics

The saying “knowledge is power” is true, especially when dealing with someone who thrives on emotional manipulation. To start, identify your parents’ go-to manipulative tactics. 

Set and enforce boundaries

Setting boundaries with parents is crucial for protecting your emotional health. You can’t just share your boundaries, though. You have to be willing to enforce the consequences if they refuse to respect the lines you’ve drawn. 

Family boundaries are difficult for many people, especially when dealing with a manipulative parent. Remembering that this is about changing your responses and not controlling your parents’ behavior can be helpful.

Here’s how to set boundaries with your parents:

• Be clear and specific about what you will and will not tolerate.
• Say something like: “If you continue criticizing my choices, I will end this conversation.”
• Follow through on the consequences you set whether that is by leaving the room, hanging up the phone, or limiting contact.

Limit emotional vulnerability

Don’t share too much personal information. Oversharing gives manipulative parents something to use against you. Keep conversations neutral, and don’t talk about sensitive topics if possible.

Practice the “gray rock” method

The gray rock method means you stay calm when a parent is trying to manipulate you. To use it, you give short, noncommittal answers and avoid having a big reaction to anything your parent says.

For example, if they want to start an argument, you can respond flatly with, “I’m not interested in discussing that right now.” Gray rocking works because it intentionally de-escalates conflict and reduces the power your parent is trying to assert.

“The “gray rock” method can be useful when practiced. It allows you to practice distancing, responding, and being brief when dealing with those who manipulate your emotions and intentions. The gray rock method requires practice in training yourself not to react to the triggers.”

– Talkspace therapist Dr. Karmen Smith LCSW DD

Keep a written record

Documenting tense interactions helps you maintain clarity and keep track of your perspective. It can be especially helpful if you’re being gaslit. 

You can keep a journal or save old messages that showcase your parent’s behavior. Keeping track of your experiences with parental manipulation can help if you see a therapist or need to explain your situation to others (including other family members).

Use “I” statements

Communicating your feelings and needs with “I” statements will help avoid escalating conflict. For example, you can say, “I feel hurt when my boundaries aren’t respected,” or “I need some space to process my feelings.” Statements like these, which keep the focus on your experience, can reduce defensiveness.

Seek outside support

Dealing with a manipulative parent can be very lonely. Even if you have people who understand, it’s still an isolating experience. Don’t be afraid to seek support and help. 

Limit contact when necessary

It’s understandable if this is difficult. It’s a profoundly personal decision, and it’s not possible for everyone, but limiting exposure to manipulative ways will create space for you to heal and grow.

Redirect conversations

If a parent frequently steers conversations toward guilt, blame, or criticism, try to gently redirect things. 

You can also set limits upfront. For example, saying “I’m not comfortable discussing that” or “Let’s talk about something else” can guide the conversation to something more productive or comfortable for you. It can help you gain (and keep) control over the interaction.

Prioritize your mental health

Above everything else, prioritizing your well-being is critical when dealing with manipulation. It can be an exhausting and draining experience, so taking care of yourself is essential.  

• Following a daily self-care routine
• Engaging in activities that bring you joy
• Reminding yourself that your needs are important and your feelings are valid
• Seeking help from family, friends, or a therapist

Healing from parental manipulation is a process. It takes time, but every step you take toward reclaiming your voice is progress that you should celebrate.

Reclaiming Your Voice and Your Peace

Recognizing manipulation from your parents can be difficult, but it’s how you can break free from unhealthy family patterns or family drama. It will let you find emotional well-being and set boundaries to protect yourself from emotional vulnerability. Seeking support from friends, other family members, a support group, or through therapy is empowering. 

If you’re feeling guilt, fear, or self-doubt as you begin your journey, don’t worry. These are normal feelings that can happen as you work to unlearn old patterns and start demanding respect in your relationship. 

If you’re ready to take the next step, online therapy from Talkspace can help. You deserve support, understanding, and the chance to reclaim your peace, and we can offer that. Reach out today to learn more about healing from emotionally manipulative parents.

For most kids, summer means a break from the grind of the school year. It’s time to ditch the early alarms, forget about packing lunches, and just enjoy time together, soaking up sunshine for the two glorious months. For many parents, though, the freedom of summer can bring new stress into the home. How do you fill long days in a fun, meaningful way? How much screen time is too much? How do you avoid guilt over not doing enough? How can you get work done, keep up with chores, and survive the seemingly constant chants of “I’m bored”? 

If summer feels more overwhelming than relaxing this year, rest assured, you’re not alone. Struggling with how to get the most out of summers with the kids is pretty common. The good news is you don’t need a complex, color-coded schedule to enjoy summer. Flexible, low-pressure routines can make a massive difference for your peace of mind and your kids’ development. They help prevent the “summer slide” — the loss of scholastic momentum that research shows happens over summer. Having a summer schedule for kids helps. The challenging part is finding a rhythm that works for your family. 

Fortunately, we’re showing you how to do that here. Keep reading to find a summer plan that combines structure with flexibility, so everyone in your house will enjoy the magic of summer this year.   

How to Create a Summer Routine for Your Kids

A summer routine for kids is obviously going to be different from your typical school year schedule, and it’s not about controlling every moment of every day. Instead, focus on building a foundation where kids feel safe, free from anxiety, and supported in their social-emotional growth. Research suggests that schedules improve emotional well-being and reduce anxiety for kids. Creating a structured routine for your family also helps parental anxiety, too. 

Here’s how to create a summer schedule for kids that’s flexible and actually works for your family.

Identify your family’s needs first

Before you start mapping out every summer activity, think about your unique family situation. Knowing your priorities and restrictions upfront lets you make a realistic and sustainable summer schedule for your kids.

When making a schedule, think about:

• Your work schedule – Are you remote, in the office, or working a hybrid setup?
• Childcare support – Will grandparents, sitters, or day camps be helping out?
• Nap schedules – Do you have younger children who need regular rest times built in?
• Existing commitments – What sports, practices, therapy sessions, vacations, or doctor’s appointments are already scheduled?
• Your personal capacity – Take your own energy, stamina, and mental health into account.

Choose anchors, not hourly slots

Resist the temptation to micromanage every hour of the day. Using a time-blocking approach that’s tied to the natural rhythm of your household is much more effective.

Start by asking yourself: When do we generally eat meals, rest, or play outdoors? Then, create a predictable structure around your typical daily activities, starting with your morning routine and working your way through the day. This gives your kids structure so they know what to expect, but you don’t have to micromanage them.  

To use anchors instead of hours, think about every day as blocks of time, like:

• Morning routine: You need to wake up, eat breakfast, and get dressed. 
• Mid-morning: It’s time for active play like outside time, going to the park, or taking bike rides.
• Midday: Break for lunch, screen time, or quiet time.
• Afternoon: Let kids be creative with arts and crafts or give them reading time. You might also use this time for light educational activities a few times a week to reduce the summer slide effect.
• Every evening: Enjoy dedicated family time, followed by dinner and the bedtime routine.

Create a visual schedule together

Kids, especially younger ones, are more likely to follow a routine if they help create it. 

You can make it fun and creative with a big poster board or a printable template. Let kids decorate it by drawing pictures, adding stickers, or choosing the colors to code different activities. Working on a visual schedule together boosts buy-in by giving kids a sense of ownership and independence. It gives them a sense of pride when they stick to it throughout the week.

Rotate activities to keep things fresh

Every parent knows that variety is key to keeping kids engaged, which is why it’s a good idea to mix up plans and activities every few days. 

To help, you can sprinkle in some fun-themed days, like Try It Thursday or Science Sundays, or plan a special day for water play, nature walks, trips to the library, or anything that allows kids to explore something new. You can also create a menu of options they can choose from when time allows. Options can include both at-home activities and ventures out and about.

Build in transitions between activities

Kids of all ages benefit from having time to shift from one activity to the next. Incorporating rituals like snack breaks, a cleanup song, or a five-minute warning helps children anticipate what’s coming next, making transitions smoother and reducing the likelihood of meltdowns or resistance. 

Younger children may need visual timers or verbal countdowns to set expectations when transitioning from one task to another.

Adjust as you go

One of the best tips to consider while creating a summer schedule for kids is that a routine should support you, not stress you out. Be flexible and willing to admit if something isn’t working. 

Early on, it’s good to check in weekly and reflect on what worked well that week. This is also an opportunity to identify where you can improve moving forward. Don’t be afraid to tweak your plan at any point. Summer is long, and flexibility will be your friend.

Remember, the goal is not rigidity. Structured flexibility means finding a rhythm that meets your family’s needs while still allowing you to adapt. It’s the trick to keeping kids excited about their summer days. 

“Children are most successful when they know that a schedule is in place, as it prepares them to know what to expect and plan. However, it is also important to teach that flexibility in schedules/structures is necessary. Showing children that adjustments and adaptations to schedules happen from time to time allows them to be ready for unexpected issues. Allow for the ‘negative’ emotions (frustration, disappointment, sadness) to be present but also model that it’s okay to feel this way, but other viable options are out there.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Sample Daily Summer Schedule (Adaptable for All Ages)

Use the following sample schedule for summer as a starting point. You’ll notice how easy it is to adapt it to your children’s ages. The idea works for parenting toddlers, school-age kids, and even parenting teenagers, as long as you think of this as a template, not a rulebook.

Here are some additional tips for adjusting your summer routine for kids by age:

• For toddlers: Keep nap and snack time consistent and use shorter activity blocks.
• School-aged children: Involve your child in choosing activities.
• Teens: Offering teens more autonomy and independence helps them learn to plan a healthy and productive daily rhythm.

Tips for Maintaining Balance and Sanity

Even the best plans aren’t totally foolproof. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of parenting during summer, remember that it should be fun, not stressful. The following expert tips can help you keep emotional well-being front and center as you create a balanced summer schedule.

Involve kids in the planning

Give kids as much age-appropriate freedom as possible. You can let your child choose daily activities, or challenge them to plan an upcoming theme day. Involving them will reduce resistance and get them excited about upcoming activities. It can also boost confidence and let them practice decision-making skills they’ll use throughout life.

Build in quiet time for everyone

Daily downtime is important for both kids and caregivers. According to research, quiet time supports emotional regulation and helps prevent sensory overload. It doesn’t have to be strict nap time, either. It’s just a chance for everyone, including parents, to have a break, rest, and recharge. 

As your children outgrow naps, this part of the day can transform into reading time or independent play. Even quiet free play is valuable. Studies show it helps kids build important self-regulation skills they’ll need as adults. 

“Downtime is so important for everyone, especially children. It allows them to take a break from a packed schedule and relax. It starts the practice of a healthy self-care routine. By modeling that as parents, we also show the children that it is okay to take some time to relax and take care of themselves. It sets children up for the idea and practice of health boundaries and balance in life. For parents, it allows time to breathe and recenter themselves to be present for their children later on.”

– Talkspace therapist Minkyung Chung, MS, LMHC

Keep screen time in check without guilt

Managing screen time is often a stressful part of parenting, but it’s OK to allow some flexibility, especially on the tough days. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry says balancing screen time supports healthy growth and development. 

Experts suggest the following screen time limits by age:

Setting reasonable limits can prevent sleep issues, declines in grades, mood problems, body image issues, and more. Remember, it’s about balance. An occasional movie marathon or video game session won’t derail your summer or ruin your kid.

When to Ask for Help (and Why It’s OK)

No matter how good it is, a schedule for summer won’t erase all your stress, but it’s a good place to start. If you’re struggling to manage the summer months and you notice increased irritability, difficulty sleeping, or feeling overwhelmed by even small tasks, it may be time to seek help. You’re not alone. Almost all parents can relate to the toll that juggling work, childcare, and family needs takes.

Reaching out for emotional, mental, or physical support is a crucial part of self-care for parents. Therapy can be a valuable tool for all parents. Whether you’re managing a crisis or just trying to stay grounded, taking care of your own well-being is the best way to model healthy coping skills. 

If the mental load of summer feels heavy this year, Talkspace makes getting help through ongoing therapy convenient and affordable. Find out why therapy is for everyone in the family, from kids and teens to parents, and you connect with an online licensed therapist when, where, and how it works for you, without putting your family’s needs on hold.