1. Set an intention
While we did just say to skip the long list of resolutions, it helps to set an intention, a single word or phrase that captures how you want to feel or what you hope to achieve. “Intention-setting is about creating a mindset shift to bring about more broad positive changes, by defining a guiding principle that you want to live by,” says Bisma Anwar, LMHC. Your intention could be a single, simple word that’s weighted with meaning for you: Calm, joy, presence, purpose. Or it could be a phrase, like “my peace is my priority” or “healthier and wealthier.”
While resolutions are targeted goals that are either achieved or broken, intentions are broader ideas. “Intention setting doesn’t try to hold you to a specific outcome or behavior change,” says Bisma. “Changing the conversation from a goal to a guiding idea means there’s no risk of failure.”
2. Heal the bruises
While the new year can feel like a fresh start, it might not be so easy to leave behind any pain or trauma you’ve experienced in the past—nor should you necessarily try. “Chances are there have been some losses or hardships in 2023 but remember that losses make you stronger and smarter and without experience we can’t tap into our knowledge or wisdom,” says Talkspace therapist Elizabeth Keohan, LCSW-C. Instead of trying to “move on” do what you need to do to process hard experiences and mourn losses (working with a therapist can really help here).
It’s not that you need to dwell on the past, but “give your hurts their due so you can heal and keep going,” says Keohan.
3. Feel the feels
4. Be a good friend to yourself
Think about your favorite friends in the world—how do you talk to them, how do you treat them? Make sure you are giving yourself at least the same level of respect and value. That starts by stopping negative self-talk. “Make sure you start from a place of affirmation and positivity rather than negative self-talk and criticism,” says BIsma. ‘If you embrace yourself from the start you will be in a better space to add on things that will enhance and improve your life, rather than correct something you think is inherently broken.”
